Written by Glenn Leopold
Captain> Abandon ship! Aahhh!
Crewman> We’re doomed!
T-Bone> Yeah, long lines at the gas pump, all because of some oil-suckin’ eel.
Razor> Well the suck stops here! This should pry him away. Bingo! The Pincer Missile works every time!
Razor> No. Furball.
T-Bone> Well, now that you’ve got that off your chest, what about the crude dude?
Razor> Time to cut him off. Buzz-Saw Missiles, away! I’ve got an idea, but it means going head to head with motormouth.
Razor> Say ‘Ahhh!’ Matchhead Missile, deployed! That Matchhead should be hitting a
stomach full of KatCo crude, right about….now! Bingo!
Captain> She’s still afloat!
Crewman> Yeah, thanks to the SWAT Kats!
T-Bone> Looks like we’ve ended the oil embargo single-handed.
Razor> Yeah, but we’re leaving empty-handed. Thanks to that oil-guzzler, I’ve only got
one missile left.
T-Bone> Piece of cake! We’ll reload back at the hangar. And get that scaly souvinier off
our wing. Now that’s what I call a sudden storm!
T-Bone> Then let’s avoid it, shall we? Aw, crud! Why do you always have to be right,
Razor> This is one time I wish I wasn’t!
Pastmaster> Listen to my spellbook’s rhymes, come to me from mythic times. For I am
T-Bone> I’m over the red line, now! Gotta pull up!
Razor> Not one of your smoothest landings, hotshot.
T-Bone> Hey, we’re in one piece aren’t we?
T-Bone> But fly where? Looks like we’ve gone in one era and out the other.
Razor> Well, from the looks of that sword, I’d say we’ve landed in the Dark Ages.
Definatley Dark Ages!
T-Bone> The woods are crawlin’ with these guys!
Knight> Destroy the sorcerers!
T-Bone> Listen, you Dark Age dimwits, we’re pilots, not wizards!
Callista> What magic is this?
Razor> Uh, Miss Briggs!
Callista> I am Callista, queen of Megalith City, and you are the enemy!
Razor> And they called us sorcerers!
T-Bone> Listen, we’re not who you think!
Callista> Silence! Finish them off!
T-Bone> Let’s kick some tail!
Callista> Destroy them! Strike a blow against the Pastmaster!
Razor> Yeah, we’re the good guys!
Callista> The warrior who pulls the sword from the stone shall be the hero who saves us
from the Pastmaster.
T-Bone> Hey, I loosened it up for him!
Razor> I told you we were the good guys.
Tabor> Now we will find out if the legend is true.
Callista> Good luck, my warrior!
T-Bone> Looks like you’re havin’ pretty good luck so far.
Razor> I wonder why everyone took off in such a hurry…
Alas, disrupting the time stream is so unpredictable. No matter. My cyclops will destroy
T-Bone> Don’t take this hero mumbo-jumbo too seriously, buddy.
Pastmaster> Just keeping an eye on you! [laughs] You can run, but you cannot hide!
T-Bone> Why hide when we can ride?
Pastmaster> My cyclops will pound you into eternity!
T-Bone> We’re already at maximum overdrive! Unless we live dangerously!
Razor> Bye-bye, big eye!
Tabor> It is quiet now, my queen. Perhaps the monster has been vanquished.
Callista> Leep your foul creature away from me, Pastmaster!
Pastmaster> Your magic is no match for my cyclops, Callista! Have you reconsidered my
Callista> Become your bride? Never!
Pastmaster> Then I will destroy you and your precious Megalith City!
Tabor> My queen! We’re trapped! Now where’s our legendary hero?
T-Bone> Don’t fire ‘till you see the white of his eye!
Razor> It’s his legs I’m after! Wrapper Missile! Bingo!
holds countless creatures of evil for me to summon! And one way or another, Queen
Callista will be mine! [cackles]
Callista> You are indeed the hero foretold by the legend of the Dragon Sword.
T-Bone> Hey, hang on a sec! I was doin’ the drivin’!
Razor> We’re, uh, sort of a team.
T-Bone> Sort of?
Tabor> Uh, do you have names?
we will find some measure of safety from the evil Pastmaster.
can do it again.
Callista> My finest blacksmiths will help you repair your flying machine.
T-Bone> Blacksmiths? All the modern conveniences…
Callista> Come, it is time I prepare a hero’s feast in your honor.
Razor> I’m really flattered Callie, uh Miss Briggs, uh Miss Queen, but, uh-
without our supervision.
Razor> Affirmitive. A six-pack of milk will do us just fine.
Tabor> No feast, my queen?
Callista> Six-pack? Bring goblets of milk and some stew. I will dine here with Sir Razor.
Pastmaster> She will be my bride, and there’s nothing those SWAT Kats can do about it.
T-Bone> Uh, what I wouldn’t give for a good welding torch.
Razor> Maybe you should just use some of this stew. Whoa, this has some afterburn.
Callista> Pepper stew is a Megalith City speciality. Does it not please you?
Razor> Oh, love it! Good thing these goblets hold a mega glass of milk.
T-Bone> Hope this Dark Age stuff holds. I wish I had some aero-space alloys.
Razor> Yeah. Wish we could go back to the hangar for some missiles, too.
Razor> Nah, that’s just where we hang out, heh. We’re from Megakat City, far in the
Callista> Seeing you with the sword has given me hope. For the first time in a long time I
feel I can rest easier. Goodnight, Sir Razor.
Razor> Goodnight, my queen.
T-Bone> “Goodnight, my queen!” Come here, buddy. I’ve got a hot forge I’d like you to
Pastmaster> You won’t be needing that amulet, Callista. I have something even better for
you! A wedding ring!
Pastmaster> Tommorrow at sunrise you will become my bride!
Callista> Never! Sir Razor!
Razor> Coming, my queen!
Callista> Sir Razor! No!
The Turbokat has got to be operational by then.
T-Bone> Whatever happened to “Thanks for the backup?”
Razor> Oh, and thanks for the backup, buddy!
Pastmaster> So, my queen, are you ready to be my wife?
Callista> Never! I will never marry an evil little gnome like you!
Pastmaster> Alas, then watch your city be turned into rubble!
Callista> Where is Sir Razor? Perhaps I have put too much faith in the legend.
Callista> It appears I must, to save my city.
Pastmaster> I knew you’d come around.
Razor> Commencing Operation Blackeye, now! Bingo!
T-Bone> These Dark Age weapons deliver a pretty good punch!
Razor> Yeah, sure closed his eye in a hurry.
Razor> Bull’s eye! That pepper stew really hit the spot.
T-Bone> Yeah, we gave that one-eye the one-two.
T-Bone> Looks like we won’t have far to go.
Razor> Crud! That little weasel knows we can’t attack him without endangering the
T-Bone> That makes us sitting ducks! Hey!
Pastmaster> Nothing can withstand my dragon’s breath!
T-Bone> Two down, one to go!
Razor> And I’m gonna save the queen. Head into that cloud bank!
T-Bone> Just don’t let that hero stuff go to your head!
Callista> My thanks, Sir Razor.
Razor> Don’t thank me yet, that dragon’s still breathing down our necks!
Pastmaster> Alas, now you both must perish!
Razor> Switch to auxillary weapons panel, now!
T-Bone> Roger, but, but you’re the sure-shot, not me!
Razor> Don’t wait all day, buddy. You’ve only got on chance! Take your best shot!
T-Bone> Guess it’s now or never!
Callista> Sir Razor!
Razor> We’re right in the line of fire!
T-Bone> Yeah, nothin’ to it. Phew.
Callista> I hope I’m enough of a wizard to send you back to your own time.
T-Bone> Me too. I don’t wanna spend the rest of my nine lives eatin’ pepper stew.
Razor> Gee, I dunno. I wouldn’t mind.
Callista> You’re sweet as well as brave, Sir Razor. That’s for saving me and Megalith
City. But the legend was wrong. There were two heroes. Quickly, you must return to your
T-Bone> [sighs] Looks like the Dark Ages are gonna be ancient history.
Razor> [sighs also] Yeah, better start the engine.
Callista> Listen to the spellbook’s rhymes, send them back to modern times. Farewell, my
Callie> SWAT Kats! Do you copy? This is an emergency!
Razor> It’s Callie!
Callie> Well it’s about time! Where have you guys been?
Razor> Uh, it’s a long story. You see-
Callie> There’s no time! Another supertanke ris being attacked off the coast!
T-Bone> We’re there! Hey, when the queen beckons we must obey! Guess old suction
mouth must’ve had a brother.
Razor> Isn’t this where we came in?
T-Bone> Affirmitive. Hey, got any of that pepper stew left?
Razor> Yeah. We’ll give him a case of Dark Age indigestion he’ll never forget! Say ‘Ahhh!’