Written by Lance Falk
T-Bone> Nothin’ like a desert test run! We should do this more often, buddy!
Razor> Heads up, partner. Three bogies closin’ fast from behind. Banshee Missiles, do you thing!
T-Bone> Looks like your screamin’ demons shoulda done less yellin’ and and more swervin’.
Razor> I gotta work on their guidance system, but ya gotta admit, they sound cool. I’ll finish off those drones the old fashioned way. Bingo!
T-Bone> Let’s head home.
Meece> Glad you had time to pay us a visit, Mayor Manx.
Manx> Very impressive, Warden Meece! Yours is the only Megakat City prison that pays for itself.
Meece> My volunteer work program sees to that. I use prisoners to mine the nearby mountain range for precious gems. Here’s this month’s take. More than enough to run the prison. [chuckles]
Callie> With plenty left over for himself. Wouldn’t the extra money be better spent on the prisoners?
Manx> Now, now, now, Callie. I’m sure the taxpayers appreciate all the Warden’s hard work.
Meece> Well, they’ll soon appreciate it even more. Gem production is goin’ to triple, thanks to Dr. Greenbox here.
Greenbox> You mean, thanks to my Gemkat 6000 mining machine.
Meece> Right now, a workin’ model of this is bein’ tested by a prisoner at the mines.
Callie> But is it safe?
Manx> Eh, looks complicated.
Greenbox> it’s really simple to use. You merely-
Shard> Scrape this thing against the rock walls and diamonds just plop into it? [chuckles]. What kind of a fool do ya take me for, Talon?
Talon> The kinda fool servin’ a nine life sentence.
Lem> But the Warden’s willing to shave some time for testing that stupid thing.
Shard> The Warden? Meece is the only one gettin’ rich off this mine. And don’t get any uglier while I’m gone, ya jerks!
Talon> C’mere, you hood!
Lem> Power down, partner, he ain’t worth it.
Shard> I wish they’d give me a bazooka to test. Kats alive! it’s the motherlode! Wow, let’s..let’s see what this baby can do. Hey, what gives? Full already? Let ol’ Rex Shard take a few off the top before Meece does.
Shard> What!? What’s happening to me?!
Lem> Get the van! Take it easy, Shard, we’ll get you to the prison doctor! Unh!
Talon> Lem! A-Watch! Come in, we got big trouble!
Shard> Goin’ somewhere, Talon? [chuckles]
Manx> Sorry I have to rush off, Warden, but there’s pressing business that can’t start without me.
Callie> The Manx Invitational Golf Tournament.
Guard> Warden, something’s going on at the mines. We can’t reach Talon!
Meece> Sounds like trouble!
Manx> Trouble? The Deputy Mayor’s my favorite troubleshooter! She can handle it. [chuckles] Handle it, Callie.
Callie> Enjoy your game, Mayor.
Manx> Hurry, driver! I don’t want to be late for tee off.
Driver> Don’t worry, sir. Megakat Springs is only twenty minutes away.
Callie> Let’s get Dr. Greenbox and go out to the mine.
Razor> I’m trackin’ some weird electromagnetic disturbance about twenty five miles due Southwest, not far from Megakat Maximum Prison!
T-Bone> Won’t hurt to go down and take a look.
Guard> Stop right there or I’ll fire!
Shard> I’m gonna get you, Meece!
Meece> Yes, a mining accident. Tell Commander Feral to get here, and fast! Aah!
Shard> Just the kats I wanted to talk to.You and your gadget did this to me!
Meece> Now, now, Shard. I’m sure we can work this out!
Shard> Work this out! [laughs]
Greenbox> Wait, I can help you!
Shard> Who says I need your help? Ow!
Callie> The SWAT Kats!
Razor> Cement machine-guns! Don’t leave base without ‘em.
T-Bone> What are you doin’ here, Miss Briggs?
Callie> It was either this or golf, and you know how I feel about golf.
Greenbox> What the?!
Callie> Dr. Greenbox, what’s going on in there?
T-Bone> Uh oh. Looks like we’ve got big problems!
Shard> Raaar! The famous SWAT Kats, huh? Do your worst! There’s nothing I can’t handle! Nothing! Greenbox!
Razor> I don’t like his attitude. Let’s cut some crystal!
Shard> What’s the matter, SWAT Kats? Can’t cut it? [laughs]
Razor> Swing around, we’ll have to try something else!
Razor> I guess he’s tougher than we both thought, huh Commander?
Feral> Enforcers, move in!
T-Bone> Bad move! You don’t know what this creature can do!
Enforcer 1> Holy kats!
Enforcer 2> Jump!
T-Bone> I warned him! Hang on!
Callie> Dr. Greenbox, you said you could help him. Can you?
Greenbox> Maybe! But I need to get back to my lab!
Shard> And this is for you, Commander Feral! [laughs] Where do you think you’re going, doc?!
Razor> Callie’s makin’ a run for it. Get closer, we’ve gotta give her cover fire!
T-Bone> We’re hit!
Razor> Yeah but Callie got away!
T-Bone> Not enough power to maneuver! Gotta land this bird for repairs!
Shard> Run, you cowards! Rex Shard is bigger and badder than ever! [laughs]
Feral> This is Feral. Bring me chopper backup!
Ann> The crowd is frozen with tension as the honorable Mayor Manx addresses the ball for the last hole of his own tournament. This is Ann Gora of Katseye News. [yawns] And this is the most boring day of my career. The SWAT Kats! Well, things are looking up.
Manx> Those blasted SWAT Kats spoiled my putt! But if nobody minds, I’ll be taking that shot over. This is my tournament after all.
Kid> We don’t mind, but I think he does!
Manx> Feral, you’ve got to do something!
Feral> Relax, Mr. Mayor! The Enforcers are here! Give up, Shard, you’re surrounded!
Shard> When are you fools gonna wise up!?
Shard> You’re starting to annoy me, Feral! Let’s see what I can really do!
Feral> What’s that crystal maniac up to!?
Golfer> What’s going on?!
Feral> Not if I have anything to say about it!
Ann> And I thought this was going to be a slow news day!
Feral> [groans] This is Feral. Bring me more chopper backup.
T-Bone> Too much damage! Can’t make it back to the hangar! We’re goin’ down! How’s it look, partner?
Razor> Not good. A couple hours’ work at least!
T-Bone> We don’t have a couple hours, buddy!
Callie> SWAT Kats, come in!
T-Bone> We copy, Miss Briggs. Where are you?
T-Bone> We might have a little problem there.
Callie> Uh oh, looks like I’ve got a big problem here! Shard’s heading right for us!
T-Bone> I’m on my way!
Shard> Gemkat Labs, eh? Dr. Greenbox! I got a score to settle with ya!
Greenbox> Almost finished!
Callie> Later! We’ve got to get out of here!
Callie> Oh! Dr. Greenbox!
Shard> Why are you running? I thought diamonds were a girl’s best friend! [chuckles]
Callie> I don’t like the setting!
T-Bone> Need a lift?
Shard> No! Not so fast, hero!
Callie> Faster, T-Bone!
T-Bone> Uh oh. Looks like we just ran outta road! Hang on! Emergency thrusters on!
Shard> You little insects think you’ve escaped. But you’re doomed, anyway! You hear me!? Doomed! [laughs]
Callie> Better see if you can fix this, too. Dr. Greenbox didn’t have time, Razor.
Razor> I hope this works.
Callie> Good luck, guys! I wish I could be there with you. Hey, maybe I can! Down here!
Razor> Shard’s gotta be at the end of this maze.
T-Bone> Then let’s polish some crystal! hey, this looks kinda familiar.
Razor> It should. This is where we were testing our missiles.
T-Bone> All right! I wanted another crack at this run! Rock and roll! Kats alive, look at the size of ‘im!
Razor> I hope Greenbox knew what he was doin’.
T-Bone> Hope again, buddy. it can’t penetrate that crystal shell.
Razor> Shard, listen to me! We’re trying to help you!
Shard> No need for that!
T-Bone> We blew it!
Ann> And it looks like even the SWAT Kats are completely helpless against this crystal colossus!
Shard> More company, eh? Well that’s okay! I’ve got plenty of pain to go around!
T-Bone> crud! There must be something we can do to put a dent in that guy!
Razor> Affirmative! We’ll hit him with Banshee Missiles!
Razor> trust me! I’ve boosted the sonic pitch. They’ll shatter Shard like a big pane of glass!
T-Bone> I told ya those things were duds!
Shard> I’ve had enough of you SWAT Gnats!
T-Bone> Whoa! When did he pick up that trick?!
Ann> Incredible! Rex Shard has focused the sun’s energy into a deadly laser!
Shard> No interviews!
T-Bone> Time to kick some crystal tail!
T-Bone> Your idea! Sound is the only way to get through to ‘im! I’m gonna offer up a mach 5 sonic boom on that new age nightmare!
Razor> Bingo! Ya did it!
T-Bone> We did, partner. Better blast him with the doc’s device and see if we can finish the job.
Feral> The Enforcers can handle it from here! It’s back to the brick litterbox for you, Shard.
T-Bone> I’ll betcha two cases of tuna that Feral takes all the credit for this.
Razor> Who cares? We’ve got better things to do. Like, uh, pickin’ up some girls..?
T-Bone> Rock and roll!