MegaKat Deathmatch!

<MattdaRef> ((Alright, I want a good clean fight, :: looks at da rules:: oh, nevermind, all pulling of hair, biting, scratching clawing, and spitting is allowed))

<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!))
<BurstSK> ((::DEAD!!::))
<JessieSK> ((::glare at Matt:: clean? ))
<CallieBriggs> ::is… she’s in her reg. workclothes… and carting a bag of golf clubs::
<TurmoilSK> ::is in her usual outfit to start… yes, even with the cape and sporting a lightweight blaster pistol and probably several knives::
<Ring announcer> In the red corner, weighing in at approx. 120 pounds, she is the Pink terror of Doom, Calico Briggs! <crowds> :: cheer::
<CallieBriggs> ((Pink Terror of Doom?! ::DEADDEAD!!!!!::))
<Coach_Burst> ((Yes..::DEADDEADDEAD!!!!::))
<CallieBriggs> ::glares at Turmoil:
<TurmoilSK> ((::DEAD!::: Hey! Turmoil’s in pink too!!!!!!))
<TurmoilSK> ::glares back… curling her lip as good as Helga in “Atlantis”… man, could that woman curl her lip::
<CallieBriggs> ((That’s more magenta, methinks… Oh well))
<Coach_Burst> Now Turmoil remember don’t loose yer cool.
<Jessieda2ndRef> ((Pink Terror of the Office — callie..))
<TurmoilSK> ((::DIES!::))
<Ring announcer> In the blue corner, weighing in at approx. 150 pounds, she is the terror of the skies, the creator of attempted destruction, the one who carries an evil accent, Turmoil! <crowds> :: boo::
<Jessieda2ndRef> ((evil accent? huh? ))
<MattdaRef> ((::shrugs::))
<TurmoilSK> Right.. ::tightly to Burst… doesn’t like her accent mocked::
<Coach_Burst> ::glares at crowd:: Don’t boo!!!!Callie works for our moronic Mayor!! Boo her!!!!
<Guy in Crowd> If she didn’t work for our moronic mayor, we’d have a problem as he IS a moron!
<MattdaRef> ((::DEAD:: ))
<Coach_Burst> She gets him reelected!!!!!!!
<CallieBriggs> ::pauses, wonders where her coach went:
<Manx> :: is in the audience:: Hey! Staaaap making gun of my incompetence! :: abruptly spills all his popcorn::
<TurmoilSK> ::to Burst:: Can I shoot him now? ::means the Mayor:: They’d thank me.
<Coach_Burst> ::shakes head:: what an..idiot. Hrmmm wait till later.
<CallieBriggs> ((<Burst> Don’t waste the ammo! The bullets are gonna bounce off!))
<JessietheCoach> ::walks over to Callie:: sorry I’m late.. paperwork… ::growls a tad…::
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEAD!!::))
<MattdaRef> If you are just now joining us, we are about to witness the first fight of the evenin, Callie Briggs versus Turmoil, and it looks like the Reff is approaching the two competitors in the ring::
<CallieBriggs> S;okay. How are the statistics?
<TurmoilSK> Right.
<CallieBriggs> ((<Ref> And, the ref BRB’s to put on armor))
<JessietheCoach> ::shrugs:: some say you can kick her tail some say she can kick yours.. then there are those who say *I* can kick her tail…tho how did THAT get in here I don’t know..
<JessietheCoach> (((::DEAD!!::))
<TurmoilSK> ((::Dies Sage!::))
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEAD!!!::))
<CallieBriggs> ::siiiighs:: Just tell me what to do…
<TurmoilSK> ((<Jessie> I can kick everyone’s tail… ::pouts:: S’why they won’t let me fight… I’d throw off the betting…))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD))
<Coach_Burst> Don’t go for the hair.. it’s harder than titanium….
<JessietheCoach> ::blinks:: fight… do anything you want but watch out.. I presume she’s gonna have a few extra weapons….you better have some too…
<TurmoilSK> ::nods to that, eyeing that poof::
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD, Burst!!!!!! <Burst> All that hairspray’ll kill you::))
<JessietheCoach> ::looking over at Turmoil….oooooh how she wants to fight her!!!!!!! ::
<JessietheCoach> ((::DEADDEADEAD!!!::))
<TurmoilSK> ((::DIES!:: <Burst> Behold… Ninety percent of the depletion of the Ozone Layer started with that hair…))
<CallieBriggs> Got the mayor’s trusty nine iron. THAT can’t fail…. I hope….
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEADDEAD!!::Quote Nick Ball”Briggsium!”))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEADDEADDEAD!!!!!!))
<JessietheCoach> ((DEADDEAD!!))
<Coach_Burst> ((DEADDEADDEADDEAD!!!!))
<JessietheCoach> this *could* help…. ::hands her a knifelike thing…is onna those things that pop out and say “NEENER NEENER you can’t get me..but Callie doesn’t know it soooo..::
<CallieBriggs> ::blinks: I don’t wanna kill her!!
<TurmoilSK> ((<Burst> Remember that guy in third grade… who took your fries? And, you never knew who it was? ::points to Callie:: That’s her.))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!!!!))
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEADDEADDEAD!!!!!::))
<CallieBriggs> ((<Turmoil> That GUY? <Burst> She was wearing a cap and had less hair))
<MattdaRef> ::walks into the center of the ring:: alright, I want a good clean fight :: looks at the rules:: But unfortunately according to the rules anything goes, so ::does a mills lane Impression:: LETS GET IT ON! <ringbell> :: rings::
<TurmoilSK> ((::dies!:: I meant thought it was a guy.))
<JessietheCoach> No worries….nothing I carry here is lethal…aside my nails..
<TurmoilSK> ::whips off that cape… likely covering Burst with it and moves forward to take up a ready stance::
<JessietheCoach> ::real reason she’s late…took a long time to get through the metal detectors outside::
<JessietheCoach> ::pats her onna shoulder:: go get her! and don’t use up all your strength at the beginning.. remember the element of surprise…
<Coach_Burst> ::Has Turmoil cape on his face:: This’ll be good! ::sets it aside::
<MattdaRef> ((<Jess> See ::shoes her nails, all are incrusted with grime and blacked:: <everyone> yer right, there a biohazard!))
<CallieBriggs> ::growls, makes her way out there, glaaares::
<TurmoilSK> ((<Jessie> You know how hard it is to crawl over those things and not get noticed?!))
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEADDEAD!!::))
<TurmoilSK> ::grabs her hat and tosses it away into the crowd::
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!!))
<TurmoilSK> ::her own hat, not one of Callie’s as that read funny::
<MattdaRef> ::moves out of da way quick!::
<TurmoilSK> Okay, Pencil-Pusher…. Let’s see what you’ve got!
<CallieBriggs> :growls:: Gladly, little miss SWAT Kat flirt…. ::waves that sucker offa nine iron::
<MattdaRef> :: grabs a lawn chair, sits in it and takes out the newspaper::
<JessietheCoach> ((::DEADDEADDEAD!!::))
<JessietheCoach> ::leans onna railing, casually, issa chewing gum as she watches them start the fight…wishing she’d fight too! ::
<TurmoilSK> ::uhm… rips up onna those poles that holds up the ring barriers to parry with::
<JessietheCoach> ((<Jess> ::gets to fight Manx:: joy! ::bored look at him:: <Manx> ::cowers just from a look:: <Announcer> and she wins!! and my it’s a new world record!!!::))
<CallieBriggs> ::takes a stance:: En garde!
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD)))
<Coach_Burst> ::Chuckles:: This’ll be *great*!
<MattdaRef> Hey, don’t mess up the ring! it wasn’t cheap :: turns a page::
<Coach_Burst> ((DEADDEAD!))
<TurmoilSK> ((::Dies!::))
<JessietheCoach> ::leaning onna rink:: told her those fencing lessons would do her good….::watches::
<TurmoilSK> ::swings::
<Coach_Burst> Wow she knows how to fight witha….pole…
<CallieBriggs> :presses a button, and gets…. a light sabre!! Erm… club!!:: *whom* ::hits:: *whom*
<JessietheCoach> ::arms crossed, leaning onna railing:: ho-hum…why won’t they let ME fight????
<Coach_Burst> Crud.. must be NRA issue….
<TurmoilSK> ::sparks fly as pole and lightsaber meet::
<TurmoilSK> ::all those cool noises ensue::
<MattdaRef> ::watches, seemingly in an uninterested fashion, turns the page of the newspaper:: Ooo, da comics…
<CallieBriggs> Ha!!! ::leaps back, charges again::
<JessietheCoach> ((<Jess> ::inna end.. gets to fight all the villains.. under her breath:: I had to ask…))
<Coach_Burst> Wow…fer a pink terror she can fight…
<TurmoilSK> ::leaps over Callie’s head, then spins, swinging for her unprotected back::
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEAD!!::))
<Crowds> :: gasp::
<CallieBriggs> ::does a split!… which had to hurt… but hey! I believe she works out and does gymnastics!::
<Coach_Burst> ((::Thinks of the show”Coach”::maybee I don’t wanna be a coach…….))
<MattdaRef> ((<Callie> I hafta, hair cement isn’t light))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!!!!))
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEAD!::))
<Mattcomentator> Ooo, and Briggs does da splits, an amazing counter
<JessietheCoach> ::waaaaaatches…:: <Turmoil’s a wuss….if I were her coach….>
<TurmoilSK> ::force of her swing makes her lose her balance, leaps so as not to fall on Callie::
<JessietheCoach> ((<Burst> ::gets slammed witha pole by Turmoil….forgot she was also pink::))
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEADDEADDEADDEAD!!!!!!::))
<JessietheCoach> Callie….the knife! ::meaning that thing::
<JessietheCoach> ((::snorks::))
<CallieBriggs> ::takes out a knife:: Back!
<MattdaRef> ::looks at watch, taps foot, then takes out a walkman and listens to his music::
<TurmoilSK> ((<Jessie> Use the Farce, Callie!))
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEAD!!!::))
<Commentator> And Briggs has pulled a knife!
<TurmoilSK> ::whips out her own three foot long machete… don’t ask from where, I don’t know::
<CallieBriggs> ((<Callie> I can’t do a gookie!! ::wails::))
<MattdaRef> ((::flops over::))
<JessietheCoach> ((::DEAD!:: <Callie> ::bribes Turmoil with donuts…then remembers she ain’t fighting Furklaw::))
<CallieBriggs> ::blinks:: <Knife> ::droops::
<TurmoilSK> ((::DEAD!::))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEADDEADJESS!!))
<Coach_Burst> Oh my…..
<Commentator> And turmoil has pulled out an even bigger knife!
<JessietheCoach> Callie… ::throws her the NRA issue sabre in sheath::
<Sabre> ::is a five foot long one ::
<TurmoilSK> ((<Jessie> ::Looking at Turmoil:: Aww…That ain’t a knife… ::pulls out a six foot long plasma knife:: This’s a knife.))
<JessietheCoach> ((::DEAD::))
<CallieBriggs> (DEAD!!!))
<CallieBriggs> ::takes it!!::
<MattdaRef> ((::DEAD::))
<TurmoilSK> ::blinks::
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEADDEAD!!::))
<JessietheCoach> ::small grin::
<Commentator> and it looks as if Callie’s coach is supplying her with weapons, all perfectly legal in this match, now, the question is, what’s Turmoil’s coach gonna do?
<Coach_Burst> Hmm……
<CallieBriggs> ::has an idea, runs towards Burst:
<JessietheCoach> ((<Burst> ::sighs….gives her perfume:: <Turmoil> ::GLARE:: <Burst> MEEP))
<TurmoilSK> ::blocks her with the knife in one hand, the pole inna other::
<Coach_Burst> <Is this too powerful a weapon…..>::sees Callie:: Meeps!!
<TurmoilSK> ::Ie: got in her way::
<JessietheCoach> <Sabre> ::is NRA issue.. therefore is stronger than anything!! even Callie’s hair!::
<Coach_Burst> Turmoil here!!!!!::throws her a video tape::
<MattdaRef> ((::DEAD!!:: didn’t know that was possible))
<TurmoilSK> ::yow, keep that sucker away from children::
<CallieBriggs> ::blinks, growls, and takes a swing::
<TurmoilSK> ::catches tape and deflects in one smooth move::
<Coach_Burst> Use this!!!<Video tape>::issa a Barney tape!!!!::
<TurmoilSK> ::then leaps into the air to the huge monitor mounted over the ring and slaps that tape in before dropped back down::
<JessietheCoach> ((it is now! MAHAHAH))
<CallieBriggs> ((<Jessie> Use this! ::tosses Callie a tape of “Cry Turmoil, right on the kiss scene:: <Callie> ::loses it and ATTACKS!!!!::))
<JessietheCoach> ((with NRA anything’s possible! ::beams:: ))
<Commentator> OH MY GOD!! she wouldn’t! :: covers eyes::
<Coach_Burst> ::closes eyes and covers ears!!::
<TurmoilSK> ((::DEAD!::))
<JessietheCoach> Callie…earplugs!
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEAD!!::))
<MattdaRef> ::puts on his shades, already has the walkman on::
<JessietheCoach> ::anticipated that one//gave Callie a pair of NRA issue earplugs::
<CallieBriggs> Gah!!!::plants her ears against her head, and runs towards Burst again…. and grabs Turmoil’s cape!!!::
<JessietheCoach> ((<Matt> ::suddenly gets ALOT darker as he puts on the shades:: um.. I can’t see anything…. ::as the rink is dark enough without the shades:: ))
<MattdaRef> ((::DIES::))
<TurmoilSK> ::spins to face Callie anew, gaping:: How can you resist it?! ::meaning the tape::
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEAD!!::))
<CallieBriggs> I was an intern atta Day Care center!
<TurmoilSK> ::gasps::
<Coach_Burst> ::Says the lords prayer. Hey Barney is that evil!!::
<CallieBriggs> :tackles Turmoil with the cape. Idea is to blind her::
<JessietheCoach> ::Gets a remote….turns off tape is calmest person out there! ::
<TurmoilSK> ((::Dies Burst!::))
<Commentator> alright, you can all open your eyes now, its stopped
<TurmoilSK> GAH!!!!!!!!!!
<TurmoilSK> ::slashes at it… inna safe way… for her anyhoo, with the knife::
<CallieBriggs> ::ties the cape around her face::
<JessietheCoach> ::not to mention the most bored person out there.. she wants to fight!! not coach!!::
<TurmoilSK> ::swings at Callie::
<CallieBriggs> ::trips her::
<TurmoilSK> ::falls, but grabs Callie and takes her with!::
<JessietheCoach> ::throws the tape away as she watches the two fight….::
<CallieBriggs> Eeps!!
<TurmoilSK> ::ends up inna tangle of cape and Callie::
<JessietheCoach> egads! I warned her ’bout this one.. but noooooooooooooooooooooooo Manx’s speech was more important!!! ::sighs::
<CallieBriggs> ::growls, tries to pin her arms behind her::
<TurmoilSK> ::thrashes, still trapped inna cape::
<MattdaRef> ::watches, issa waiting for a TKO ::
<CallieBriggs> ::grabs her arms?::
<JessietheCoach> ::gets some water, drinks that, crosses her arms on her chest…has that fighting look on her face::
<JessietheCoach> ::i.e. fighting the urge to get in there and fight!::
<TurmoilSK> ::flailstruggle… oh, what a way to go!::
<Coach_Burst> Wow…this is great!!!!
<MattdaRef> ::issa waiting fer someone to pull someone’s hair::
<TurmoilSK> ::hair is under cape::
<JessietheCoach> ((<Burst> wow this is great!! <Turmoil> we lost you idiot!! <Burst> we did? oh DUH with HER as a coach!! ::pouts:: <Turmoil> next time!!! next time! !))
<MattdaRef> ((::DEADEAD!!!::))
<TurmoilSK> ::Issa pulling and clawing anything in reach… has veritably killed the padding on the nearest pole::
<CallieBriggs> HA!! ::pins her to da’ ground!::
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEADDEAD!!!::))
<TurmoilSK> ((DEAD!!!!!!!!))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!))
<TurmoilSK> ::Kicks::
<MattdaRef> ::runs to their side, starts counting:: 1!2!… ::better get up::
<TurmoilSK> ::kickflailclawmaimgrowl::
<CallieBriggs> Meeps! ::falls off::
<TurmoilSK> ::leaps up inna great move…then falls back down… pulled by the cape Callie’s sitting on::
<JessietheCoach> ::claps hands loudly …tht always makes Callie jump to her feet::
<MattdaRef> ::holds up 2 fingers:: Two count :: then goes back to his walkman::
<CallieBriggs> ::tackles Turmoil anew!::
<CallieBriggs> ::and starts bapping her with…. a herring!::
<TurmoilSK> ::grabs, rolls… man, this’s starting to look like high school wrestling.. all that wallowing on the floor… only with more… owie… fish::
<Coach_Burst> Uhmmm…..Go fer the face!!!
<MattdaRef> ((::dies::))
<TurmoilSK> ::growls inarticulately!::
<CallieBriggs> ::attacks with that fish!::
<Coach_Burst> The glasses!!!!
<MattdaRef> Hey, where’d the fish come from? :: looks, see’s his lunch is stolen:: Hey!
<JessietheCoach> Callster…her shoes! ::to Callie…in that calm down to earth tone::
<MattdaRef> ((<Callie> : tilts her head, reflects the lights into a deadly laser beam::))
<TurmoilSK> ((<Matt> My red herring! She stole my red herring! ::pause:: Hey, wait… If my lunch is a red herring… what was she REALLY after?!))
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEADDEADDEAD!!!!!::))
<TurmoilSK> ((::DEAD! Matt!::))
<JessietheCoach> ((DEAD))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!!))
<TurmoilSK> ::goes for de’ glasses.. tho’ she can’t see::
<JessietheCoach> ::anticipated that…glued her glasses to Callie’s head::
<Commentator> I as well as all of you, are still anticipating Callie’s signature move, the laser beam glasses attack, but will she be able to implement it against Turmoil?
<TurmoilSK> ::tugs::
<T-Bone> ::inna audience:: GO TURMOIL!! ::Gets a glare from Razor, shoves his head down:: GO CALLIE! ::inna smaller voice::
<CallieBriggs> Ack!! ::swats Turmoil’s hand away…. then does the beam thingy::
<MattdaRef> ((::DEAD!!!::))
<TurmoilSK> ::rolls… cape gets set on fire::
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEAD!!!::))
<TurmoilSK> ((BAD T-BONE!!!!!!!!!!))
<Commentator> Here it is folks! Callie has reflected the arena lights into a deadly laser beam, and has lit Turmoil on fire!
<Coach_Burst> ((GOOD T-BONE!!!!!!!!!!!))
<TurmoilSK> ((BAD!!!!!!!!!!!))
<CallieBriggs> ((VERY BAD, T-Bone!!!!!!!!))
<Coach_Burst> ((GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!))
<JessietheCoach> ::blinks a tad at that….doesn’t shield her eyes tho, just looks::
<CallieBriggs> ::grabs an extinguisher:: Hey, Turmoil! Lemme put you out! ::nails ‘er!::
<TurmoilSK> ::gets hit,…. did manage to lose de’ cape tho’… saving herself some serious burns… ring, however, is on fire::
<Coach_Burst> Man this is turning into a “Celebrity DeathMatch” clone…..
<MattdaRef> ::looks at em:: I’ll allow it!
<CallieBriggs> ((I meant she nailed her with the foam…. but what they hey!))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!!))
<TurmoilSK> ((<T-Bone> ::to Razor:: Think I should tell them about the cute redhead that was always just off-screen that I’m engaged too? <Razor> Nah…))
<MattdaRef> ((::DIES::))
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!!))
<JessietheCoach> oh brother! ::slaps her face, pulls a rope to have a bucket of NRA issue water spill onna rink to put out the fire:::
<JessietheCoach> ((DEADDEAD!!))
<TurmoilSK> ::issa KOed::
<Coach_Burst> Aaawwww crud!
<MattdaRef> ::looks at this:: Callie Briggs is the winner!
<Ringbell> ::rings::
<JessietheCoach> ::arms crossed, gives Burst a smile, nods approvingly to Callie::
<Crowds> :: all roar, chanting:: CALLIE CALLIE CALLIE
<Coach_Burst> ::runs into the ring:: Turmoil wake up.
<CallieBriggs> ::bows::
<TurmoilSK> ((Too bad Jess put out the fire… “Deputy Mayor Calico Briggs and Dark Temptress of the Skies Turmoil Duke it Out in a Ring of Flames!” hadda nice ring to it…))
<CallieBriggs> ::smiles::
<JessietheCoach> ::leaps into the rink, walks over to Callie:: great job!! ::pats her onna shoulder::
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!!!!))
<MattdaRef> ((::DEAD:::))
<TurmoilSK> ::wakes up slowly:: What hit me?
<JessietheCoach> ((sue me!! ))
<Coach_Burst> ((::DEADDEADDEADDEAD!!!!::))
<Coach_Burst> ::sighs::….We lost.
<TurmoilSK> ((Barney and Bailey would love it…))
<TurmoilSK> ((Barnum even!))
<CallieBriggs> ::grins, hugs Jess:: Thanks, coach.
<CallieBriggs> ((DEAD!!))
<TurmoilSK> ((Aiy! Burst that was your fault! ::he says Barney so much::))
<Comentator> :: shows their rerun:: And there you see it, with a deadly fire extinguisher, Briggs wins the fight
<Coach_Burst> ((::laffs maniacally::))
<JessietheCoach> Eeps! ::issa hugged:: just….::gasping for air a tad:: doing my job…
<MattdaRef> <ring announcer> Now, time for fight number two, after a word from out sponsors
<TurmoilSK> ::gets up and stalks out with as much dignity as she can muster::
<TurmoilSK> ((<Turmoil> So, am I still on for the fight against the newswoman?))
<Coach_Burst> ::follows:: Aww don’t worry we’ll get her next time…