SWAT Kats

Joining the Party

Back inside the lair, the creeplings are removing the nuclear fuel rods and placing them into the “Doomsday Device.”

Dark Kat, proving to be reasonably intelligent, warns them to be careful, then takes notice of the Cyclotron appearing on a little TV screen nearby. He says Feral “didn’t mention they were joining the party,” as Feral says muffled stuff that sounds strangely like curses.

The Cyclotron shoots down the tunnel, with Razor (riding on the back seat) saying the signal is coming in strong, and that Dark Kat should be up ahead. At that same moment we cut to Dark Kat laughing evilly as he pulls a random lever on the wall, causing molten lava to begin pouring out of some tubes in the ceiling ahead of the SWAT Kats. Seeing the danger, T-Bone pops a wheelie, then does a U-turn and heads back the way they came, with the lava gaining on them.

Dark Kat observes their plight on his little TV monitor, telling Feral, who we see is now making an effort to untie himself, that “the SWAT Kats are about to discover that tunnel offers no escape.” Initialy, I thought, yes it does, it’s the way they came in! Boy was I wrong. Despite turning around and presumably heading back they way they’d come in the SWAT Kats now find any hope of escape cut off by a big pit filled with lava, which looks decidedly too huge to jump across, making me wonder how they bypassed it coming in.

Razor, being a backseat driver, points this out to T-Bone, who says, “I know, I know! What do you want me to do? Stop?!” He’s got a point. The Cyclotron then flies off the ledge and we see it plunge into the river of lava below on Dark Kat’s TV monitor. “So much for the SWAT Kats,” Dark Kat says as he rather stupidly turns the monitor off. He then gets his best moment in the episode as he turns back to Feral and assumes a thoughtful pose: “Now, where was I? Oh, yes! Doomsday!”

Joining the Party

Cut back to the river of lava, where we discover (to no one’s surprise) that the SWAT Kats survived by, apparently, jumping off the Cyclotron as it fell and using their Glovatrixes to shoot grappling lines which grabbed some handy stalagtites.

Or so it’s implied when T-Bone says, “The Glovatrix; don’t leave base without it.” “Roger that,” agrees Razor.

And we’re only three episodes into the series and I’m already convinced that these two losers just can’t not be pilots for five freakin’ minutes. 90% of their dialogue so far contains pilot jargon like “affirmative” or “roger that” instead of simply “yes,” and sayings like, “He’s out like a blown engine!” It really, really gets annoying after a while… as does Razor’s Super Friends-esque inability to simply fire a missile without announcing loudly what it is. In fact, while I’m on the subject, the revelation that they were Enforcers before becoming vigilantes is kinda dumb. What makes them more skilled than the rest of the Enforcer pilots?

Anyway, Razor fires a grappling line that he and T-Bone use to slide down to safety on the ledge, and the flow of lava that was chasing them has, by now, completely vanished, thereby enabling them to traverse the tunnel. And since Dark Kat turned off his TV monitor like a doofus, they won’t be spotted. Hoo-boy, this episode is really spiraling into Sucksville…

Joining the Party

Back in the lair, Dark Kat is doing something with the “Doomsday Device” when a now-freed Commander Feral sneaks up on him and prepares to hit him with a rock.

Unfortunately Dark Kat senses this and turns, smacking Feral clear across the room. Feral slams into the wall and his knocked unconscious, as Dark Kat tells him to “sit there and be quiet.” Har-har. Suddenly there’s a series of explosions that hit the bomb, the floor, the creeplings (!), and misc. equipment and do absolutely no damage to any of them, and Dark Kat looks up to spot T-Bone and Razor on a ledge above him.

T-Bone calls Dark Kat “Dark Crud” (another recurring pun is the word “crud”), as Razor swings down on another grappling line and kicks some creeplings. Dark Kat then wins back my respect by hastilly arming the “Doomsday Device” before T-Bone can jump down and kick him in the chest, knocking him over.

Joining the Party

We’re then treated to the most boring and poorly-animated – not to mention repetitive – fight scene I’ve seen in a while, as Dark Kat charges T-Bone, grabbing his hand so he can’t fire his Glovatrix.

T-Bone punches Dark Kat, knocking him down again, then runs over to the “Doomsday Device.” As he’s trying to figure out how to disarm it, Dark Kat reappears and grabs T-Bone, lifting him up over his head and carrying him over to a big, deep pit with spikes at the bottom. T-Bone somehow manages to kick Dark Kat in the face, knocking him down again, and the SWAT Kat clearly lands behind the fallen villain, with Dark Kat between him and the pit (remember this!).

Razor, meanwhile, has a really lame and uninteresting brawl with the creeplings, and when we cut back to T-Bone, he is now between the pit and Dark Kat (!). He lunges for the villain, but Dark Kat kicks him backwards and he falls out of sight into the pit. Razor, seeing his friend’s plight, knocks the creeplings aside and fires a net over Dark Kat. As the creeplings begin trying to free their master, Dark Kat yells for them to forget about him and load the bomb onto the Doomsday Express.

Razor runs over to the pit, and we discover T-Bone clinging to the wall a few feet down. “What took you so long?” he quips, totally unconcerned that he might lose his grip and fall to a spikey doom. Apparently the creeplings didn’t listen to Dark Kat, since he hurries aboard the Doomsday Express before the creeplings, who, despite being under three feet tall, carry the entire “Doomsday Device” aboard the airship, which then takes off and flies through the fanged mouth, down the tunnel, and out through the “lavafall” (using the forcefield of course), even as T-Bone, being helped out of the spike pit by Razor, points out the blatantly obvious: “Dark Kat is getting away!”