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Contributed By
MoDaDMoDaD

Cast:

  • T-Bone – Charles Adler
  • Razor – Barry Gordon
  • Callie Briggs – Tress MacNeille
  • Commander Feral – Gary Owens
  • Felina Feral – Lori Alan
  • Mayor Manx – Jim Cummings

Guest Cast (in order of appearance):

  • Pop Perkins – Arte Johnson
  • The Pastmaster – Keene Curtis
  • Mac Mange – Neil Ross
  • Molly Mange – April Winchell
  • Professor Hackle – George Hearn

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):

  • Robot #1 – Charles Adler
  • Slave #1 – Jim Cummings
  • Slave #2 – Charles Adler
  • Robot Helicopter – Charles Adler
  • Computer Voice – Tress MacNeille
  • Robot #2 – Charles Adler
  • Robot #3 – Jim Cummings

Transcript

Jake> Step on it, Chance! I wanna get back to the garage in time to catch the David Litterbin Show!

Chance> You got it!

Jake> Chance, why are you stopping here?

Chance> This is my old neighborhood, buddy. And this is where I used to hang out.

Pop> Hey! Are you gonna read ‘em or you gonna buy ‘em? This ain’t no library, bud!

Chance> You got the latest copy of Kat Kommandos?

Pop> Just came in. Hey, don’t I know you? You look kinda familiar.

Chance> It’s me, Pop! Chance, Chance Furlong. And my best buddy, Jake.

Pop> Well I’ll be! Chance Furlong! [chuckles] You always did like those Kat Kommando comics, and you were always readin’ ‘em for free!

Chance> Heh, same old Pop. Yeah, I wanted to be a good guy just like the Kat Kommandoes.

Pop> And you made it, too! I was so proud when I heard you became an Enforcer. I always hoped you’d have a bright and shiny future! But, then I heard-

Jake> That we got booted outta the Enforcers? Yeah, well, that wasn’t exactly our fault.

Chance> We’re still tryin’ to be good guys, though. You take care of yourself now, Pop. This neighborhood doesn’t seem to be gettin’ any better.

Pop> Don’t worry about me, boys! Old Pops Perkins is a survivor!

Jake> You might not get us back in time for Litterbin but if ya hurry you still might beat the rain.

Chance> Hey who said you could read that first?

Jake> You rather I drive?

Chance> No way. Okay you can read it, but don’t bend the pages,

Callie> SWAT Kats, come in!

Chance> Yes Miss Briggs?

Callie> I’m on Old Megakat Bridge. It’s the Pastmaster! He’s back!

Chance> Hold on, Miss Briggs! We’re on our way!

Pastmaster> You puny Enforcers can’t stop the Pastmaster! Why don’t ya call in the SWAT Kats?!

Felina> This is one Enforcer who doesn’t need any help. I can handle that little troll myself!

Feral> Felina! Didn’t I give you orders to stay put?

Felina> Can’t hear ya, uncle, it’s too windy! Call ya back after I throw a net over this creep!

Feral> Felina! Oh I should throw that niece of mine off the force! But my brother would never speak to me again. And she’s too good an Enforcer!

Felina> You’re history, Pastmaster! I’m bringin’ you in!

Pastmaster> Ah! Foolish girl! It’s the SWAT Kats I want!

Razor> You got ‘em, Pastmaster!

T-Bone> Where can we drop you off, Lieutenant?

Felina> Thanks, but I can find my own way down!

Feral> Just stay put, Felina.

Pastmaster> SWAT Kats, I’ve been waiting for you! I’ve just come back from the future and I’ve altered it!

Razor> This guy’s been traveling through too many time-zones.

T-Bone> I hear ya! Let’s take ‘im down!

Razor> Octopus Missiles locked!

Pastmaster> Now, attack! [cackles]

T-Bone> Crud! That thing’s thrown us outta control! Gotta break free!

Pastmaster> Too late, SWAT Kats! [laughs]

Callie> The SWAT Kats! They’re gone!

T-Bone> We’re free!

Razor> Yeah but where the heck are we!?

Mac> Welcome to the future Megakat City, SWAT Kats!

Molly> Except now it’s Metallikat City and I’m in charge!

Mac> You mean we’re in charge, don’t ya Molly?

Molly> Whatever!

Pastmaster> [chuckles] I just had to see the look on your faces when you saw the future I arranged for you. Now, I’ll return to mess up your past!

Molly> You’re not going anywhere except into one of our work camps! Get ‘em!

Pastmaster> But-but I helped you take over the city so I could destroy the SWAT Kats for all time! We had a deal!

Mac> I lied. Sue me!

Molly> We can destroy the SWAT Kats ourselves!

T-Bone> What kind of crazy world is this?!

Razor> One with too many robots in it! Blowtorch Missiles, deployed! Didn’t even phase ‘em!

Pastmaster> Must get my watch- No!

Mac> Do not let the SWAT Kats escape!

Molly> They are non-metallic creatures and must be made our slaves! Along with the rest of katkind!

Razor> Looks like those chrome-played creeps have taken over the city!

T-Bone> So this is the bright and shiny future Pop Perkins predicted for me! Well we’re gonna do somethin’ about it, buddy!

Razor> Those robots are still on our tail!

T-Bone> Not for long!

Razor> Yes! Radical flyin’, T-Bone! But we’re banged up pretty bad. Better head for the salvage yard.

T-Bone> If it still exists in this stainless steel world.

Molly> What?! How could you let the SWAT Kats escape?

Mac> Don’t blow a circuit, Molly. We’ve got this whole city wired.

Molly> Gimme the control matrix! I’ll send out more Metallitack Units!

Robot> Speed it up, you two!

Slave #1> I don’t believe it! Look! It’s the SWAT Kats! They’re still alive!

Slave #2> But it can’t be. The robots destroyed ‘em!

Slave #1> SWAT Kats, help us!

T-Bone> Looks like we’re gonna have to find another garage, Razor. Aw crud, we’re hit!

Razor> And we’ve got company! Launching Tarhead Missile! He’s blinded!

T-Bone> Gotta find a place to put ‘er down, and fast! Guess Megakat Swamp is my only choice.

Razor> It’s nice to see something non-metallic, even you.

T-Bone> Those rivet-heads did some real damage, bud.

Razor> Yeah, it doesn’t look good. And it’s lookin’ worse by the minute!

T-Bone> We are not goin’ down without a fight!

Felina> Hold your fire! We’re kats, too.

T-Bone and Razor> Lieutenant Feral?

Callie> Professor Hackle! It’s the SWAT Kats!

Hackle> Amazing!

Callie> You’re alive!

T-Bone> So far, this is the only part of the future I like.

Callie> We all thought you and the Turbokat were destroyed.

Feral> I saw it with my own eyes. Your jet exploded! How did you two hotshots manage to get out?

T-Bone> Same old Feral.

Manx> So glad to see you back, SWAT Kats, I’ll arrange a parade.

Razor> Same old Manx.

Callie> [sighs] We thought you two were dead.

Razor> Well maybe our future selves are, Miss Briggs, but we’re from the past.

T-Bone> That crazy Pastmaster dragged us here. He was mumblin” something about changing our future.

Hackle> He changed the future for everyone in Megakat City! My peaceful robots were doing much of the work in Megakat City, until the Pastmaster arrived, and revived my two old headaches, the Metallikats. Those two never were any good no matter how hard I tried to reprogram them. They started turning all my good robots bad, making them imprison all non-metallic creatures, using them as forced labor, to make bigger and better robots. Nothing could stop them! Not even the SWAT Kats. Only our small band of resistance kat fighters remains uncaught.

Callie> But now that you SWAT Kats are back, maybe we have a chance to overthrow the robots.

Manx> Yes, we need all the help we can get, SWAT Kats.

Robot> It won’t be enough!

T-Bone> Get going! We’ll cover ya!

Callie> Get in, Mayor!

Manx> [terrified gibberish]

Razor> C’mon, we’ve got more firepower in the jet!

T-Bone> Crud! Tarface is back!

Manx> Go faster, Callie! Faster! [whines]

T-Bone> Looks like we’re still in one piece, bud.

Razor> Yeah but what about the others?

Hackle> The Mayor and Miss Briggs are gone, and it’s all my fault! I should’ve melted down those Metallikats long ago!

Razor> There must be some way to stop these renegade robots, Professor!

Hackle> Perhaps. If I could get into Metallikat headquarters to reprogram the central robot control matrix.

Feral> Impossible! My Enforcers tried that, and we’re all that’s left.

T-Bone> But you didn’t have the Turbokat.

Razor> Neither do we!

Hackle> But, perhaps if we all work together, we can fix your jet.

Razor> Cool setup, Professor!

Hackle> Once an inventor, always an inventor.

Molly> Glad you two could finally join us!

Mac> Let’s get rid of ‘em!

Molly> No, stupid! They’re gonna help us round up all the stray kats! Go turn on the camera.

Mac> Alright, you’re on.

Molly> Attention! This is Molly Mange, ruler of Metallikat City, with a warning to all non-metallic creatures! You must give yourselves up by sunrise, or I-

Mac> We!

Molly> Whatever! We will destroy the Mayor and Deputy Mayor!

Pastmaster> That’s my watch! I want it back! [growls]

Molly> See all you kat wimps by sunrise! [laughs]

Razor> We’re outta repair time, buddy!

T-Bone> Roger that, we’re goin’ in!

Razor> Launching Cyclotron! Seeya at Metallikat headquarters!

Stoplight> Non-metallic lifeform! Stop!

Razor> You don’t get a ticket for runnin’ stoplights, bud!

T-Bone> Razor!

Razor> Mini-Cement Launchers!

T-Bone> Nice shootin’, pal. Sorry I couldn’t save the Cyclotron.

Razor> At least you’re okay, but we’re gonna have to hurry! It’s almost sunrise!

Pop> Get your metal paws off me!

Robot> You’re coming with us! It’s the assembly plants for you! Resistance will be met with termination!

Razor> Deploy Mini-Turboblades!

T-Bone> Pop, are you okay?

Pop> Do-do I know you?

Robot> Halt! Alert! Three non-metallic lifeforms in sector-

Pastmaster> [yells] I want my watch! This is your fault! I want out of this awful future! I want my watch!

T-Bone> Not so tough without it, are ya?

Razor> Calm down or we’re all gonna wind up in a Metallikat work camp!

Pastmaster> I want my watch. Help me get it and I’ll get you out of this tin-can timezone!

Razor> Fine. Then you’ll have to help us get in to defeat the Metallikats. And I have an idea that’s just crazy enough to work.

Mac> Looks like we caught that puny Pastmaster, Molly!

Molly> Have him brought up to our control room. Well good morning, Pastmaster! Ready to be destroyed in front of a live TV audience, along with Manx and Briggs?

Callie> This all your fault, Pastmaster!

Pastmaster> That’s it! I’ve played this game long enou-mmmph!

Mac> We’re on the air! Good mornin’ Metallikat City, good-bye Pastmaster!

Molly> Whatever happened to ladies first?

Mac> It’s the SWAT Kats!

Molly> And it doesn’t look like they’re comin’ to give themselves up, Mac.

Mac> My robots’ll destroy ‘em!

Molly> My robots!

Mac> Whatever!

Molly> Hey the Enforcers are flyin’ that thing! Where are the SWAT Kats?!

T-Bone> The SWAT Kats are right behind ya, Molly!

Mac and Molly> Wha?!

Mac> Molly! They shorted out the robot control matrix!

Molly> I’m gonna short them out!

Pastmaster> Give me my watch! [growls]

Molly> Get offa me you little pest!

Mac> Molly, it’s the Professor! He’s comin’ to reprogram us!

Molly> He’s gotta catch us first! Come on!

T-Bone> Glad you could make it, Lieutenant! We’ll handle it from here!

Razor> If, uh, you don’t mind.

Hackle> Give yourselves up, Metallikats! It’s all over!

Mac> It ain’t over, doc!

Molly> Mac, it’s the SWAT Kats!

T-Bone> Ready, Razor?

Razor> Roger! Bolo Missiles, locked! Bingo!

Mac> Destroy those non-metallic SWAT Kats!

Hackle> My reprogramming has begun. From now on, robots and katkind will live in harmony once more.

Molly> No! Traitor!

T-Bone> The Professor sure works fast.

Feral> You’re under arrest, Metallikats!

Pastmaster> And I’m leaving! So long, SWAT Kats! Hope you enjoy the future!

T-Bone> That doublecrossin’ troll!

Razor> I expected as much.

T-Bone> Razor I think we made it!

Razor> Yeah, now it’s time to give our little friend a one-way ticket back to the past!

Pastmaster> Nooooooo!

T-Bone> Nice to see good ol’ Megakat City again, eh partner?

Razor> Yeah, maybe now I’ll have time to see how this darn comic ends.

T-Bone> Razor, don’t bend the pages!

Episode Transcripts

1 comment on “A Bright and Shiny Future”

  1. MoDaD says:

    This episode has so many great establishing shots that really set such a grim mood and aesthetic that really sells things.

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