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Contributed By
MoDaDMoDaD

Cast:

  • T-Bone – Charles Adler
  • Razor – Barry Gordon
  • Callie Briggs – Tress MacNeille
  • Commander Feral – Gary Owens
  • Felina Feral – Lori Alan
  • Mayor Manx – Jim Cummings

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):

  • Homeless Kat – Jim Cummings
  • Dr. Viper – Frank Welker
  • Enforcer Sergeant #1 – Charles Adler
  • Enforcer Sergeant #2 – Charles Adler
  • Dr. Konway – Jim Cummings
  • Enforcer Pilot – Charles Adler

Transcript

Chance-> Just like the old Enforcer days, eh buddy? Heh, prepare to get your tail whipped!

Jake-> I don’t think so pal! If any kat’s gonna ace our little obstacle course it’s gonna be me!

Chance-> Ah! Jake *gurgle* give me a hand?!

Jake-> Nice try, buddy, but that old trick’s not gonna slow me down!

Chance-> Help! Jake! Help *gurgle*

Jake-> Looks like the best kat’s gonna win. Crud, I don’t think he’s fooling around! Chance, hang on! What’s the big idea? Pretending to drown just so I’ll lose?

Chance-> I uh, just got a…cramp.

Cramp huh? You’re uh okay now, right buddy? you can’t swim, can you?

Chance-> Look don’t make a big deal out of it.

Jake-> Why didn’t you ever tell me?

Chance-> You never asked.

Jake-> Hey, don’t sweat it, I’ll teach you how to swim.

Chance-> Forget it. Fish swim; I fly.

Homeless Guy-> What?

Dr. Viper-> Ssssoon, my little creaturessss, you will roam free in my new ssswamp city.

Homeless Guy-> AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Mayor Manx-> Hum de dum de doy…huh? Gadfrey!-wha? This is Mayor Manx, HAAAALP!

Callie Briggs-> Gah! I’ve gotta get above this stuff. That tree’s my only chance! AHHH! If this isn’t a SWAT Kat emergency, then I don’t know what is!

Chance-> C’mon bud, can’t you hit harder than that?

Jake-> You mean more like this? HEE-YAW!

Chance-> Oof! My turn!

Jake-> It’s Callie! Yes Ms. Briggs?

Callie Briggs-> Megakat City’s being inundated by some kind of hideous mutating ooze. Downtown’s been evacuated, I’m trying to get to Enforcer Headquarters.

Chance-> Hang on Ms. Briggs, we’re on our way!

Lt. Feral-> Not a good night to be out on the streets, Deputy Mayor.

Callie Briggs-> So I’ve noticed Lt. Feral. Let’s get out of here.

Lt. Feral-> I wonder how my uncle’s going to handle this one.

Callie Briggs-> I don’t know, but if he can’t let’s just hope the SWAT Kats can.

T-Bone-> Things are not looking good, buddy. What is this crud?

Razor-> Got me, T-Bone, but it’s covered over half the city.

T-Bone-> What the-? That things drooling all over my cockpit!

Razor-> Yeah, and it’s acid drool.

T-Bone-> I just washed the jet. Eat G’s, Toady!

Razor-> T-Bone, he thinks we’re a couple of flies!

T-Bone-> Maybe I can curve his appetite. Let go Wart-Face! Aw crud! He’s gonna eat right through the controls!

Razor-> T-Bone, maybe I can pry this overgrown fly-catcher loose. Activating Upper-Missile Launcher! Bon Voyage, Froggy! Bingo! Happy Vapor Trails!

T-Bone-> Uh-oh, don’t look now, bud, but your missile’s are on a direct course with Enforcer Headquarters. Radical! You knocked Wart-Face out.

Commander Feral-> Along with half my control tower!

Lt. Feral-> Easy Uncle, Dr. Konway did say he wanted a live specimen to examine.

That’s enough, Felina. I’ll handle this.

T-Bone-> Don’t get any warts Commander.

Razor-> Your niece is pretty quick on the draw, Commander.

Commander Feral-> Get that thing down to the bio-tech lab!

Enforcer Sergeants-> Yes sir!

Dr. Konway-> I’d stake my job that this is the work of Dr. Viper. You see there? Those DNA strips are coated with traces of Katalyst X-63. Dr. Viper stole a shipment of it just last week.

Commander Feral-> Viper! It figures that mutated sicko would be behind all this!

Callie Briggs-> But can the mutation process be stopped, Dr. Konway? before it destroys all of Megakat City?

Mayor Manx-> Well Doctor, can it be stopped?

Dr. Konway-> Perhaps. With the proper anti-mutigen chemicals… Why yes! The process can be reversed!

Commander Feral-> Then what are you waiting for, Konway? Get to work!

Dr. Konway-> Oh I’m afraid it’s not that simple, Commander. I’ll need large quantities of these anti-mutigens. And there’s only one place in the city that has them: Megakat Biochemical Labs.

Mayor Manx-> But, that’s right in the center of my slime-covered city!

Commander Feral-> Don’t worry Mayor, I’ll get the chemicals personally. You stay put Felina, that’s an order. And that goes double for you SWAT Kats.

Lt. Feral-> Enforcers? What does he think I am? Kitty-Litter?

Callie Briggs-> I’d feel a lot better if you two were going along to help.

Razor-> You heard the Commander. We wouldn’t want to break any laws now, would we T-Bone?

T-Bone-> Not us. Of course, if the Mayor ordered us to help, I guess we’d have to as civic-minded citizens.

Callie Briggs-> Well, Mayor?

Mayor Manx-> Well, I…Commander Feral did say that…

Callie Briggs-> Fine, just remember: without those chemicals you’re going to be mayor of Mutation City.

Mayor Manx-> Well don’t just stand there, SWAT Kats! Go get that stuff and clean up my Citaaay!

Commander Feral-> Megakat Biochemical, on the double!

Lt. Feral-> Right!

Commander Feral-> Felina? I thought I ordered you to stay put!

Lt. Feral-> Hey, you needed the best pilot so here I am.

Commander Feral-> Fine, let’s go.

Lt. Feral-> Megakat Biochemical, eight miles and closing.

Enforcer Pilots-> Commander, we’re hit!

Commander Feral-> Return to base!

Lt. Feral-> Guess it’s up to us, Uncle. We’re going down!

Commander Feral-> This is Feral, bring me chopper back-AHHHHHH!

T-Bone-> Looks like the Enforcers ran into some trouble, and it’s still around. Nice shootin’ partner!

Razor-> T-Bone, Feral and Felina are down!

Lt. Feral-> The SWAT Kats!

Both Ferals-> Gah!

Dr. Viper-> Hahha, so long SWAT Kats. Too bad you didn’t live long enough to see Megakat City become Dr. Viper’s Mutation City!

T-Bone->The engines are clogged with crud! what are you lookin’ at ugly?

Razor-> C’mon T-Bone, we gotta eject!

T-Bone-> We are not ejecting. Just one time for ol’ T-Bone…

Razor-> If you’re worried about swimming I’ll help you!

T-Bone-> I am not ejecting, and I’m not swimming! C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! All three engines maximum thrust! yes!

Lt. Feral-> SWAT Kats, down here!

T-Bone-> Razor!

Razor-> I see em’

Callie Briggs-> SWAT Kats, come in, we’ve got a garbled call from Commander Feral!

T-Bone-> Don’t worry Ms. Briggs, he and his niece are with us.

Mayor Manx-> Just get that anti-mutigen, SWAT Kats, before this stuff covers every square inch of Megakat City!

Razor-> We’ll try not to let you down, Mayor.

T-Bone-> Crud, must’ve guzzled all our fuel blasting free from that scum-snake.

Razor-> Can’t risk landing in this swamp again, hotshot, we’re too big a target for those giant mutated scum-balls under the surface.

T-Bone-> Roger that!

Razor-> Deploy Macro-wave blasters.

T-Bone-> Macro-waves deployed and operational.

Razor-> Next stop, Megakat Biochemical.

T-Bone-> Razor, look out! AHHHH!

Razor-> T-Bone!

Razor-> If you drown, I’m gonna kill you. Are you okay, buddy?

T-Bone-> Yeah, but I think that ugly little thing bit me.

Razor-> Let me see.

T-Bone-> Oww! Leave it alone!

Razor-> Better see Doc Konway after we get those chemicals. Sure you don’t want me to drive?

T-Bone-> I’m fine. Switching to silent running. Maybe that’ll keep those mutations off our back.

Razor-> Locked. Unlocked. I think we’re in luck, T-Bone. The anti-mutagens are still here. Give me a hand.

Mutated T-Bone-> Rawr! GRRRR!! Rawr!!!

Razor-> Hee-yaw! I hate to do this buddy, but you’re just not yourself.

Callie Briggs-> SWAT Kats, come in! We’ve got big problems. It’s Dr. Viper, he’s huge! and he’s heading this way. Razor, T-Bone, you gotta do something!

Razor-> T-Bone’s a little tied up at the moment, Ms. Briggs, but I’ll do my best. Now to call the Turbokat by remote control. I just hope the Turbokat has enough fuel to deliver this payload.

Dr. Viper-> Hahha, nothing can stop me now. Katalyst X-63 has made me bigger and badder than ever!

Razor-> Wish me luck buddy, if this doesn’t work we’re all going to look like you.

Dr. Viper-> Hahaha, the SWAT Kats?

Razor-> Hope I can get close enough to drop this stuff.

Dr. Viper-> How do you like the new me, SWAT Kats?

Razor-> Nuts! T-Bone would’ve never let that slime hit the jet. And I’m running on fumes! Aw crud! Flame-out!

Dr. Viper-> Anti-mutagen, nice try SWAT Kats, hahaha.

Razor-> Gotta eject! Now’s my chance. Locked, launch!

Dr. Viper-> Huh?

T-Bone-> Couldn’t control myself, I just hope Razor forgives me. C’mon razor, say something. Aww crud, speak to me buddy.

Razor-> *cough* I thought you didn’t know how to swim?

T-Bone-> Hey, I didn’t know how to be a mutated frog either until today. C’mon, let’s get the Turbokat…and some flies for breakfast.

Razor-> Flies?

T-Bone-> Heh, just kiddin’.

Razor-> Heh, very funny.

Episode Transcripts

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