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Contributed By
MoDaDMoDaD

Written by Mark Saraceni

Cast:

  • Chance Furlong/T-Bone – Charles Adler
  • Jake Clawson/Razor – Barry Gordon
  • Commander Feral – Gary Owens
  • Felina Feral – Lori Alan
  • Ann Gora – Candi Milo
  • Dark Kat – Brock Peters
  • Jonny – Mark Hamill
  • Newscaster – David Ackroyd
  • Elderly Woman – Pat Musick

Transcript

Guard: (gasp)

Dark Kat: Clumsy fool! That super conductive cable is a vital element in my plans! Soon, all the pieces will be in place and I will finally have the power to destroy Megakat City.

Enforcer Dispatch: Chopper One, Chopper One. Silent alarm at Megakat Super Conductor.

Roger that. Chopper One on its way.

Dark Kat: Excellent. Our business here is finished.

Creeplings: (make noises)

Dark Kat: Relax my Creeplings. Nothing can stop us now.

Chopper One: Stay where you are, you’re under arrest! No way to catch him, he’s too fast.

Razor: But not too fast for us, hey bud?

T-Bone: Only one way to find out!

Dark Kat: The SWAT Kats. Just as I anticipated. The game of Dark Kat and mouse begins.

Razor: Stay on him T-bone!

T-Bone: He won’t shake this tail!

Razor: Just a little closer…

T-Bone: He’s in the clear!

Razor: I’m on him! Octopus Missiles, deploy!

Dark Kat: Excellent. My plan is working perfectly.

Razor: Aw crud!

T-Bone: Steady Razor. I’ll get us close enough for a second shot.

Razor: He’s locked. I’m taking him down!

Radio: This is Chopper One. We need paramedics in sector 12. We’ve got civilian casualties in a collapsed warehouse.

Razor: Casualties?

T-Bone: Doesn’t sound good…where’d he go? Cripes, we lost him!

Razor: Maybe we should double back to that abandoned warehouse. I guess it wasn’t so abandoned…

Fire Fighter: Careful, over here! Put out that fire!

Jonny K: We’re rollin’ Ann.

Ann Gora: This is Ann Gora of Kat’s Eye News, live from the site of a spectacular disaster . We’re with the victims of the accident. Can you tell us what happened?

Old Woman: (groans)

Old Man: We was just passing by on our evening walk when boom, the whole place dropped down on us. (coughs)

Ann Gora: Commander Feral, have the Enforcers determined how this accident occurred?

Commander Feral: This was no accident. It was the work of those irresponsible SWAT Kats.

Ann Gora: Surely you’re not suggesting that the SWAT Kats intended to hurt innocent civilians?

Commander Feral: The SWAT Kats are dangerous vigilantes. A menace to society.

Razor: But, it was an accident.

Commander Feral: There they are now, returning to the scene of their crime.

Razor: Maybe we should go down there and try to explain.

T-Bone: Why bother? We’re already guilty in Feral’s eyes.

Commander Feral: You can run but you can’t hide, SWAT Kats. If it’s the last thing I do, I swear to bring those kats to justice!

SCENE END

(Kats Eye News on TV)

Ann Gora: There you have it viewers, our Kats Eye News exclusive report. Again, two innocent civilians have been seriously injured, apparently the result of the misguided missiles of the SWAT Kats’ jet.

Chance: Give it a rest, Jake.

Jake: I still can’t believe I hurt those people.

Chance: Hey, I feel bad too, but what are we supposed to do? We were in pursuit of a dangerous criminal.

Jake: But I’m the one who fired.

Chance: But it was an accident.

Jake: I guess you’re right, but I can’t help thinking I should’ve done something different. Hey, what’s that?

TV: We interrupt this program for a special bulletin. Enforcer patrols report a break-in at Katalytic Laboratories. They are surrounding the building and awaiting additional air support. This is apparently the work of the same intruders who earlier robbed Megakat Super Conductors.

Chance: Looks like we’re gonna get another shot at this guy. Let’s roll!

Jake: Let’s just hope I don’t miss again.

SCENE END

Dark Kat: With this MegaKatalytic Converter I’ll have everything I’ll need to reduce Megakat City to rubble. From the ashes will rise Dark Kat City, my capital of crime!

Commander Feral: Whoever you are, you’re going to pay for this. All choppers, move in!

Felina Feral: Roger! Let’s nail ‘em!

Dark Kat: This will slow them down. So much for the Enforcers…the SWAT Kats!

T-Bone: You won’t get away from us this time, buddy! It’s all yours, Razor. Take him down!

Razor: I…I can’t.

T-Bone: What are you waiting for?

Razor: What if I miss? I can’t risk hurting someone else.

T-Bone: You’ve got to stop blaming yourself!

Dark Kat: He who hesitates is lost!

T-Bone: The thrusters are clogged! We’re losing power! We’re going down! C’mon, baby. Maximum thrust! Yes! Nuts, we lost that flying spider!

Razor: I’m sorry.

T-Bone: So am I. You’re so worried about hurting someone else you almost got us killed!

SCENE END

Think I got most of this crud out of the engines.

Well, then you won’t be needing me for awhile.

Hey! Where are you going?

I don’t know…out. I need to be alone. To do some thinking.

Hey, suppose that spidery creep shows up again?

You’ll handle it better without me. I’m just putting you and innocent civilians in danger.

Razor! Wait! Aw, crud. I don’t blame him for being a little rattled. We never hurt anyone before. How the heck could two Octopus Missiles that hit the top of the building blow up the bottom?

SCENE END

T-Bone: The answer must be here somewhere. (grunts as is hit)

T-Bone: Lt. Feral?

Felina Feral: T-Bone?

T-Bone: What are you doing here?

Felina Feral: Same thing you’re doing I suspect: looking for clues.

T-Bone: Then you don’t believe our missiles brought this place down either.

Felina Feral: Let’s just say I’m skeptical, especially since I found this.

High explosive detonators?

Felina Feral: Placed at strategic support points throughout the ground floor.

T-Bone: This building was rigged to blow!

Felina Feral: Exactly. Somebody deliberately wants to make the SWAT Kats to look bad.

T-Bone: I knew it. We’ve been framed!

SCENE END

Dark Kat: (laughs) I’m almost ready to strike. Now, to find some power to complete the conversion of my Black Widow.

SCENE END

TV: And behind curtain number three is a year’s supply of hairball eliminator!

Razor: I hope I’m not disturbing you?

Old Man: Hey, it’s one of those SWAT Kats who bombed that building!

Old Woman: It’s your fault we’re in here!

Razor: I…I came to apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

Old Man: And now you want us to forgive you?

Razor: Well, uh…

Old Man: Forget it!

Razor: I don’t know what to say…

Old Man: Don’t say anything, sonny, just get out!

TV: We interrupt this program with a special bulletin. These pictures are being broadcast live from a Megakat City electric substation, where the Enforcers are engaged in an all out war against the mysterious spider craft.

Enforcer: Watch out, move it!

Razor: I’ve got to help.

Old Woman: Go ahead, sonny, hurt some more innocent bystanders.

Razor: You’re right, I still can’t risk it.

Old Man: Just as well, you’d never stop Dark Kat.

Razor: Dark Kat, who said anything about Dark Kat?

Old Man: Uh, the newscaster did!

Razor: I don’t think so.

Old Man: I uh, mean, that is…

Old Woman: You and your big mouth. He’s on to us!

Razor: So, this was all a setup?

Old Man: That’s right, Dark Kat wanted to rattle your nerves, to destroy your self-confidence.

Old Woman: And it worked. Too bad you won’t survive to tell anyone!

Old Man: Dark Kat will pay us extra to get rid of you permanently!

Razor: Lights out, pal! Well well…urk!

Old Woman: Don’t worry, you won’t feel a thing!

Razor: I know! Fastest Glovatrix in the west.

SCENE END

Razor: Is there a doctor in the house? Book ‘em.

SCENE END

Dark Kat: At last! The power core!

Creeplings: (laugh)

Dark Kat: Feed, my little Black Widow. Feed! Just a sip for now, wet your appetite. You’ll drink your fill at the main power grid. Energy into mass! It’s working! Just as I planned!

T-Bone: Razor, come in. This is your partner calling. Crud! What a time to go solo. What the? Power’s out, controls won’t respond!

Dark Kat: The SWAT Kats are finished. All that’s left is to plug in to the main electrical grid. Then the power to destroy Megakat City will be mine!

T-Bone: Gotta switch to auxillary power. Better go manual. All right! We’re back in business.

Dark Kat: Not for long, SWAT Kat.

T-Bone: Dark Kat! So, you’re beind all this?

Dark Kat: And there’s nothing you can do to stop me! Seems the spider has caught the fly.

T-Bone: Gotta break free…it’s not working. What the, Razor?

Razor: You miss me, buddy?

T-Bone: Roger that. Now get your tail up here!

Razor: On my way.

T-Bone: Good to have you back in the saddle again, partner.

Razor: Same here, bud. Now, let’s take Dark Kat down once and for all.

T-Bone: He’s heading for the main power plant!

Razor: And the Enforcers can’t stop him!

SCENE END

Felina Feral: Don’t be stubborn, uncle. I’m telling you the SWAT Kats were setup.

Commander Feral: I’ve got bigger things to worry about, Felina.

SCENE END

Dark Kat: Nothing can stop me now!

Razor: Looks like Dark Kat’s absorbing all the power from Megakat City. We’ve got to cut his power source. Head for the Mega Transformer Tower.

T-Bone: You’re only gonna get one shot, buddy.

Razor: That’s all I’m gonna need! Target locked. Slicer Missiles, deploy! Yes!

T-Bone: Now that’s what I call cutting the power!

Dark Kat: You’re too late SWAT Kats, I’ve already got all the energy I need to destroy Megakat City!

Citizens: (scream)

Dark Kat: Now watch as I pound this city into dust! (laughs)

Citizens: (scream)

T-Bone: Razor, we’ve got to do something!

Citizens: (scream)

Razor: He’s heading through Megakat Park. I’ve got an idea! Gotta get that thing into the water.

T-Bone: But he’s not heading for the lake!

Razor: We’ll bring the lake to him!

Dark Kat: Those fools can’t stop me!

Razor: Now, to get that big bug’s feet wet. Groundhog missiles, deploy!

Dark Kat: Foolish SWAT Kats, my Black Widow is water proof. Destroy them!

T-Bone: Razor, if your plan is to short circuit that monstrosity, it ain’t working!

Razor: Steady, T-Bone. That was just phase one. Drill bit missiles, deploy!

Dark Kat: No! We’re short-circuiting! Shut down all systems!

Razor: Guess the inside wasn’t waterproof, ‘ey T-bone?

T-Bone: Looks like you got your edge back, Razor.

SCENE END

Felina Feral: Hold it right there.

Commander Feral: You’re all under arrest. Where do you think you’re going?

T-Bone: To get Dark Kat!

Commander Feral: Dark Kat?

Razor: Don’t worry, we’ll bring him in for you!

T-Bone: Crud! Where is he?

Dark Kat on Monitor: You may have won this battle, SWAT Kats, but I’ll be back. In the meantime, I’ve left you a little gift. (laughs)

T-Bone: Gift?

Razor: Gift?

Felina Feral: The ship is wired to self-destruct!

T-Bone: Get down!

Razor: Good call lieutenant. That was close.

Felina Feral: Do you think Dark Kat will surface again soon?

T-Bone: Well when does, we’ll be waiting.

Razor: Both of us. Count on it.

CREDITS ROLL

Episode Transcripts

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