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Contributed By
Craig RohloffCraig Rohloff

Written by Glenn Leopold

Transcript by Craig Rohloff


  • Chance Furlong/T-Bone – Charles Adler
  • Jake Clawson/Razor – Barry Gordon
  • Deputy Mayor Calico “Callie” Briggs – (non-speaking this episode)
  • Commander Ulysses Feral – Gary Owens
  • Lieutenant Felina Feral – (non-speaking this episode)
  • Mayor Manx – (non-speaking this episode)

Guest Cast (in order of appearance):

  • Chop Shop – Nick Chinlund
  • Dr. Ohm – Andre F. Stojka
  • Hard Drive – Rob Paulsen
  • Ann Gora – Candi Milo

Supporting Cast (in order of appearance):

  • Enforcer Dispatcher – Andre F. Stojka
  • Enforcer Pilot – Charles Adler
  • Train Gunner – Charles Adler

Single Act


Enforcer Dispatch: [voice over] Attention chopper units: confirmed two-eleven at Megakat Trade Towers.

Enforcer Pilot: Roger, we’re in persuit!

Chop Shop: That’s what they think! [laughs as he activates controls]

T-Bone: Did you see that, Razor? Some two-bit crook’s copied our trademark turbo blades.

Razor: Then let’s give him a taste of the real thing! Crud! That chopper must have mega-alloy armor!

Chop Shop: Nice try, SWAT Kats, but you’ll have to do better than that to stop Chop Shop! [laughs]

T-Bone: Aw, nuts! That laughing hyena’s got triple turbo power.

Ann Gora: This is Ann Gora, Kat’s Eye News… high in the sky above Megakat City, where the SWAT Kats are persuing what seems to be their most elusive adversary.

T-Bone: Bingo!

Razor: He’s hooked!

T-Bone: Now to deliver this laughin’ low-life to the Enforcers.

Chop Shop: We’ll see who has the last laugh. [laughs]

Commander Feral: You’re under arrest, Chop Shop!

Ann Gora: Ann Gora here, mid-air with the SWAT Kats. How about a few words, guys? You SWAT Kats have certainly managed to catch your share of villains, with Chop Shop being just the latest. But tell us… why do you do it?

T-Bone: We have a mission, Ann. Down these mean skies a Kat must fly. We want to be the good guys.

Razor: And despite what the Enforcers might think, we just want to make Megakat City a safer place.

Commander Feral: It would be a lot safer without those two reckless hotshots!

T-Bone: And thanks to my buddy Razor’s high-tech gadgets, we’ve turned quite a few low-lifes in to the authorities.

Dr. Ohm: Even high-tech gadgets will be useless against Puma-Dyne’s anti-weapons scrambler. Luckily, it’ll be in the good hands of the Enforcers. I’ll tell Doctor Cougar that it’s ready.

Dr. Ohm: Eh? Ah, wha… what the? AUGH! It’s–

Hard Drive: Hard Drive! Well, what do we have here? [Hard Drive picks up the scrambler] Thanks, Doc. This should come in mighty handy!


Jake: Lookin’ good, buddy. One more coat and we’re all done. Uh… Eh.

Chance: What’s the matter, pal? Can’t invent a gadget for opening a stuck paint can? Heh, heh. Here, let me help ya.

Jake: [sarcastically] Now why didn’t I think of that?

Chance: Oops…

Ann Gora: [into microphone] Today marks the debut of Megakat City’s high-speed rail line designed to transport gold bullion quickly and safely from the Megakat Mint to the city vaults.

Hard Drive: Time to go for the gold! Ha, ha, ha!

Train Gunner: You sure picked the wrong train to rob!

Hard Drive: Let’s see who’s scrambling after I scramble their weapons.

Train Gunner: What the? Lasers not responding. Huh?

Hard Drive: This is too easy.

Commander Feral: Lasers are down! He’s stolen Puma-Dyne’s scrambler, and left us defenseless! Fall back! Doctor Ohm. How do we counteract that device of yours?

Dr. Ohm: I’m working on it, Commander.

Commander Feral: Aw, that’s just great. Meanwhile, Hard Drive’s stealing half the gold in Megakat City!

Razor: Not yet, he hasn’t. Buzz-saw missile… deploy!

Hard Drive: The SWAT Kats? Heh, ha! I’ve been expecting them.

Razor: T-Bone! That beam’s knocked out all of my gadgets!

T-Bone: All?!

Razor: Roger. We’re unplugged!

T-Bone: Well, our jets are still operational. Hang on.

T-Bone: Any bright ideas, buddy?

Razor: We can’t fight him, so we’re gonna have to outwit him. Head for the Megakat Tunnel. He’ll wedge his wings trying to follow us. Crud! He’s got retractable wings, too.

T-Bone: Other ideas?

Razor: Yeah. [he points ahead] Hit that water tower!

T-Bone: If you say so.

Razor: Yes! We flooded out his engines.

Hard Drive: [zapping his controls] Ah, ha, ha, ha! Nice try, SWAT Kats, but my engines are waterproof!

T-Bone: No use, buddy. Without your high-tech gadgets, we’re just sitting ducks.

Razor: Then we’re gonna have to go low-tech. Let him get closer, T-Bone. I’m opening the bomb bay doors.

T-Bone: I hope you know what you’re doing, buddy, or we’re gonna get our tail blown off! He’s locked us in!

Razor: I’m only gonna get one shot.

Hard Drive: Augh!

Razor: Bingo!

Hard Drive: Noo… I can’t see!

Razor: Going somewhere, Hard Drive?

Ann Gora: And so, even without their trademark gadgets, the incredible SWAT Kats have brought another criminal to justice and saved Megakat City millions.

Cmdr. Feral: “Saved the city millions,” Ann? What about that water tower they wrecked? Not to mention the train bridge. [black spray paint starts to cover the tv screen] Extensive damage to Megakat Tunnel. A dozen buildings…

Chance: Oh, that Feral. I’m glad we had some paint left over, Jake.

Jake: [smacks forehead] Aw, Chance! Next time you get upset at the tv, how about just turning it off?



Contributed By
Craig RohloffCraig Rohloff

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