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Contributed By
MoDaDMoDaD

Written by Glenn Leopold

Cast:

  • Chance Furlong/T-Bone – Charles Adler
  • Jake Clawson/Razor – Barry Gordon
  • Commander Feral – Gary Owens
  • Callie Briggs – Tress MacNeille
  • Mayor Manx – Jim Cummings
  • Dr. Viper – Frank Welker
  • Dr. Zyme – Paul Eiding

Transcript

T-Bone> I’m five points ahead, buddy!

Razor> Hey, we’re not outta the reflex room yet, pal. It’s the finals core that counts!

Zyme> Now to find out if our regenerative mutagen really works. Sever the stem, Purvis!

Purvis> You really think the viper extract is the key, Dr. Zyme?

Zyme> If snakes can grow back their tails, why shouldn’t our reptilian formula stimulate rapid regeneration in plants?

Purvis> [gasps] It works!

Zyme> Yes, Purvis. Just think of the benefit to katkind! Viper Mutagen 368 will able to restore forests that have been burned to the ground. Devastated fields of crops will grow again, feeding millions! And I couldn’t have done it without you, Purvis. All these years of research are finally paying off!

Purvis> Yes, but how do they pay off for us?

Zyme> We’ll be famous! Mayor Manx, please.

Purvis> Famous. I’d rather be rich!

Zyme> I wanted you to be the first to hear about the success of our new plant growth formula. After all, Mayor Manx, it was your grant to the lab that paid for this research.

Manx> Ah, so it was. Uh, then I guess you’ll be calling it the Manx Formula, then, eh, Zyme?

Zyme> Well, no, it’s called Viper Mutagen 368.

Manx> What?

Zyme> Why don’t you come over and see the results of our research?

Purvis> A formula like this would be worth millions to the right bidder, and that fool Zyme’s gonna give it away to the city!

Manx> C-come over now? I’m very busy.

Zyme> First thing in the morning, then?

Manx> Saturday’s usually my morning for golf, but I guess I could stop by early. And I’ll bring Deputy Mayor Briggs with me.

Zyme> I’ll be looking forward to seeing you both.

Callie> Saturday is usually my morning to sleep in!

T-Bone> Aww, crud!

Razor> [chuckles] Looks like Megakat City is gonna need a new Mayor. That’s automatic game-over!

T-Bone> I want a rematch!

Razor> Alright, two outta three!

T-Bone> You’re on!

Zyme> Are you coming, Purvis?

Purvis> You go on ahead, Dr. Zyme. I wanna tidy up my office before the Mayor arrives.

Zyme> Well, then, see you in the morning. And, congratulations!

Purvis> What an idealistic fool. Now’s my chance!

Zyme> Goodnight, Emil.

Emil> G’night, Dr. Zyme.

Zyme> Aw darn, I forgot my reading glasses. Purvis! Where do you think you’re going with that? And what are you doing with my notes?!

Purvis> I’m taking the formula, Zyme! It’s gonna make me rich!

Zyme> Wait! No, Purvis! Purvis?

Purvis> Right behind ya, Zyme!

Zyme> Oh, Purvis! You treacherous thief!

Purvis> Nothing can stop me now! Oh, now look what you made me do! But don’t worry, I’ll just use your notes to whip another ba-ba-aaaatch!

Zyme> Purvis? He was planning to steal the formula, Commander. And when it all spilled on him, the shock to his system must’ve been too great.

Feral> It wasn’t your fault, Dr. Zyme, his own greed did him in.

Attendant> What’s that? [gasps]

Emil> Anybody there? These comics must be gettin’ to me.

Zyme> Poor Purvis. Helping katkind just wasn’t enough for him. Huh? Oh no! it’s mutated! That means the formula is worthless. Oh and to think Purvis perished for nothing. I’d better tell the Mayor not to come.

Viper> You won’t be telling Manx anything, Zyme! Ssssss!

Zyme> Wh-who’s there? Is that, is that you, Purvis?

Viper> Not anymore! Just call me Viper, Dr. Viper! [cackles]

Zyme> [gasps] Help!

Viper> I want to do a little experimenting in the biology lab! [cackles] Drink up! Bet you bugs have never tasted a walking mutation before.

Zyme> What are you doing, Purvis?

Viper> The name is Viper! And I’m going to need some allies, if I intend to take over Megakat City. Now that these insects have my mutagen in their systems, let’s see how big I can make them before the Mayor gets here!

Feral> Did you get anything out of the attendant?

Sergeant> Negative, sir, he’s still in shock.

Feral> Well that’s just great. Keep looking! I want that body found!

Sergeant> Yes sir!

Feral> Huh? Hmm, same crud that was in the morgue. Sergeant! Get some flashlights!

Manx> Come, Callie! The faster we get this over with, the faster I can tee off!

Callie> Tight security.

Manx> Dr. Zyme? [gasps] Huh!? What the?

Viper> Dr. Zyme is a little indisposed at the moment.

Callie> Who, or what, are you?

Viper> I used to be Dr. Purvis, but now you can call me Dr. Viper! The mosquito’s paralyzing fluid will render you helpless!

Manx> I c-c-can’t m-move!

Viper> This new batch of Viper Mutagen will be ready shortly. And then, you three will be like me!

Feral> Well, well, Megakat Biochemical. So this is where the slime trail ends!

Razor> Callie’s signal is coming from the 15th floor!

T-Bone> This ventilation shaft should get us there, pronto!

Feral> Be ready for anything, men! [gasps] What are you clowns doing here?! Can’t move!

T-Bone> Better than a flyswatter!

Viper> Sounds like my mutant forces are busy! Eh, no matter. My work here is almost done!

T-Bone> Crud! Our fuel lines are hit!

Razor> We’ve gotta do something fast. I’ve got a plan! Head for the refinery!

T-Bone> I don’t think those overgrown wasps are gonna let us stop for a fillup, buddy.

Razor> Just follow my lead, T-Bone! This oughta take the sting outta their tails! Launch Mini-Matchhead Missiles! Bingo!

Viper> Ladies first! Huh?! You’re too late, SWAT Kats!

T-Bone> No!

Viper> I’ll teach you fools to meddle with Dr. Viper! You haven’t seen the last of Dr. Viper!

T-Bone> Are you okay, Miss Briggs?

Callie> Fine, thanks to you.

Razor> [chuckles] Hey, T-Bone! At least your aim is improving!

Manx> Give me that!

Razor> Oh, uh, here Mayor, let me help you with that.

Episode Transcripts

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