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Going In

Going In - Destructive Nature Reviewed

"Gotta run!"

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Coming back from the commercial, Razor now finds himself on some random floor of the Megakat Tower. T-Bone comes in on the (unseen) microphone built into his helmet while Razor puts his Glovatrix on, asking if he’s okay. Instead of answering his partner Razor says it “looks like a swamp in here,” and picks his way through some vines and such (and thanks to another animation blooper has no tail during this shot) and asks T-Bone, “What’s your situation?” “It’s weird,” T-Bone says while flying the jet around outside, “those flyin’ cabbages don’t attack me unless I’m close to the roof.”

Razor tells him to just stay clear of them while he looks for Callie, and then proceeds through a random door (which he thoughtfully closes behind him) and turns on the lights. This room is filled with a bunch of very nasty looking plants with various sharp, pointy protrusions. “I don’t like the look of this,” he mutters, and as he passes a cactus it turns to watch him go by. Suddenly three of the Rovers leap out and attack him. “Chew on this!” he declares and shoots them with tiny little missiles from his Glovatrix, which does absolutely no damage to them. He turns and flees, the mutants chasing after him, and as he passes that cactus again it launches its needles at him. He dodges, but the three pursuing plantimals are not as lucky and end up writhing around on the floor with the needles stuck in them.

T-Bone, master of bad timing, comes in over the microphone again and asks if Razor is having any progress. Razor has just gotten done saying he hasn’t run into Callie yet when the three Rovers recover from being turned into pincushions and resume coming after him. “Gotta run!” he tells his partner, and, well, runs.

Going In - Destructive Nature Reviewed

Outside, Commander Feral stands outside the tower entrance watching as the flying plantimals circle the penthouse three-hundred stories above like pterodactyls, and then Ann Gora walks up with Jonny the cameraman and asks him if he’s got a plan for getting Deputy Mayor Briggs out of the building. “Yes, a simple one,” he replies, then points at something offscreen and adds, “We’re going in!” We then see several Enforcer Peacekeeper tanks (from The Wrath of Dark Kat) approaching. On Feral’s order, they line up and fire at the wall of vines covering the entrance, and their missiles make short work of the flimsy plants.

“That did it, Commander! We’re through!” cries a commando (presuambly the same one Feral was speaking to before), and then Feral says, “Let’s move in!” to Ann of all people. Seriously, he says this right into her microphone. Before anyone can move though, one of the plantimals emerges from the entrance. This is a “Behemoth,” one of the big green ones with red lips and tentacles ending in suction cups, only now it’s about twice the size of one of their tanks.

“Blast it!” Feral yells, and the tanks do their thing, but unlike the vines their missiles don’t seem to be hurting the monster (and it actually appears to be growing even bigger by the second in short bursts). T-Bone, flying overhead, looks down and smugly observes, “Looks like Feral got stopped at the door.” And he’s smiling, too, that bastard. The SWAT Kats aren’t doing a very good job of endearing themselves to me at all.

Cut to the Megakat Golf Course, which is your average inner-city golf course. Although to be honest, I’ve never heard of a golf course that was actually in a major metropolitan city. Mayor Manx, seen for the first time in his horribly tacky old-fashioned golfing clothes, is preparing to hit a ball with his golf club when he glances over and sees smoke rising from the base of the Megakat Tower off in the distance. Boy, traffic in Megakat City must be light if the tower and golf course are only ten minutes away from one another.

Going In - Destructive Nature Reviewed

He notices this in mid-swing and cries “What?!”, smacking the ball accidentally in the direction of the three Siamese businessmen, who are also wearing their own golfing clothes (Mr. Young is wearing a white Panama hat, white sweater, and a red ascot, while the tall guy is wearing a blue turtleneck sweater and the short guy is wearing a pink T-shirt and a purple baseball cap. As if anyone actually cared). They have to duck to avoid being hit with the ball, and Manx hastily apologizes for his “clumsiness,” telling them to play through while he goes to make a phone call. He goes over to a golf cart and grabs a cordless phone from it, demanding to speak to Feral.

In the penthouse of the tower, the “spore pod” has grown so huge it takes up almost the entire room. Dr. Viper approaches and begins to stroke it, saying, “Soon, my lovely, soon.” Eew. He hears an explosion and walks out onto the balcony, looking over the railing at the action happening three-hundred stories below. “Let those fools waste their time,” he sneers. “In fifteen minutes, Megakat City will be mine!” He cackles insanely as only a mutated mad scientist can. Ugh, why do the villains always have to time these things? If the spore pod exploded right now Viper would win.

Going In - Destructive Nature Reviewed

Below, the tanks continue to fire at the super-plantimal, and then we’re shown that the tentacle things on its back are not suction cup tipped, but are rather like faucets since they unleash a torrent of that green acid. This creates a massive sinkhole in the concrete, which one of the Peacekeepers drives right into and begins to sink. We see the two-man crew quickly bail out and climb to the upended rear of their doomed vehicle, then jump off to safety before the entire thing sinks under. In a nice bit, when one slips, the other grabs his hand and pulls him to safety. Watching this are Feral and his right-hand man Sergeant Talon (who is the same sergeant last seen in The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice). “The toughest tanks we have and that- that thing melted ’em like butter!” Talon cries. Um, only one tank got melted, there, Sarge.

Talon is holding a field radio, which Feral grabs from him and uses to talk to Mayor Manx. Can a field radio conenct with an ordinary cordless phone? Anyway, Feral says, “Now you listen to me, Mayor. Dr. Viper has turned your pet skyscraper into a living weed patch!” Back at the golf course, the Mayor cuts Feral off: “No, you listen to me, Feral! The city has a billion dollars sunk in that tower. Use weed killer if you have to, but get that wacko Viper out there now!” He also warns him not to damage the building any further doing it, and Feral protests, but the Mayor cuts him off and tells him that “my friends here,” meaning the Siamese businessmen, are planning to sign a ten-year lease. Speak of the devil, Mr. Young comes up to the Mayor at this point and asks him if there’s a problem. Manx nervously says there’s no problem, then hangs up and they resume their golf game.

Back at the tower, Feral angrily throws down the radio and it breaks in half on the ground. But in the very next shot, Talon is holding it and it’s fine. That’s some sloppy animation right there. “Great, I can’t burn, cut or blast,” grumbles Feral, then rhetorically asks the Sergeant, “What does he expect me to do? Leave it to the SWAT Kats?!” The Turbokat flies overhead at this point, so low in altitude that Feral and Talon reflexively duck. Um, T-Bone, you’re not helping.

We cut back inside the tower, where Razor is running a gauntlet of plantimals that seem to consist solely of smaller versions of the Behemoth guarding the entrance outside, pursued by the Flyers and the Rovers. Typically, the creatures he runs past don’t actually try to grab him but merely growl and wave their tentacles. He then pulls out two orange grenades and pulls the pins with his teeth, tossing them over his shoulder. The “grenades” aren’t even really grenades as, instead of exploding, they emit bolts of electricity that fry the plantimals in the hallway. At least the ones chasing him, since the ones that are just standing there growling continue to stand there and growl, unaffected. Razor does a flip and lands to find that the hallway comes to a dead-end.

Going In - Destructive Nature Reviewed

Razor then pulls a small gun from an ankle holster whose barrel has five small slots, from which ten little miniature sawblades fly. These stick into the wall in a perfect circle, do nothing for a moment, then, of their own accord, cut a circular hole in the wall and Razor runs through it into the room beyond. None too soon as the electricity has worn off and the plantimals (of which there now appear to be only seven), charge forth. Razor then pushes a big cabinet of some sort in front of the hole and says it should buy him some time, then he’s smashed over the head with a flower pot and knocked out.

When he comes to, he finds Callie Briggs standing over him, apologizing him. She says she thought he was “one of them.” Callie needs to get her glasses checked if she mistook Razor for a plant monster. Razor says it’s “a good thing we’re required to wear helmets.” Required by who? This suggests he and T-Bone answer to somebody, which is nonsense. Suddenly the plantimals bust through the cabinet pushed in front of the hole, which I find odd because you’d think hitting it with enough force to smash through it would actually just tip it over. Anyway Razor grabs Callie and they flee, climbing into a ventilation duct. Callie gets in first, and Razor, scrambling in after her, accidentally uses his toe to turn on the thermostat, setting it to “cold.”

Going In - Destructive Nature Reviewed

Feral, enraged, breaks his baton in half.

Outside, Sergeant Talon tells Feral that “Copter 1” is approaching from “the chemical factory.” It seems the Enforcers are going to “try it the Mayor’s way” and use “a thousand gallons of weed killer.” The Enforcer chopper in question – flown by Burge and King’s right shoulder – arrives with a giant, bright orange canister bearing a cat-earred skull-and-crossbones symbol on it. Flying over the Behemoth guarding the door they drop the canister on Feral’s order. Even though it lands beside the plantimal, it still successfully breaks out and douses the offending monster in the weed killer. Feral rejoices, “We’re goin’ in!” But not so fast, Commander! The monster, seemingly unaffected, licks its lips, then mutates, doubling in size and becoming a lot spikier (in particular, the suction cup tipped “hoses” on its back become spindly arms with claws).

While the transformation seems lost on the Enforcers, the size-doubling isn’t. “Commander,” cries Sergeant Talon, “weed killer only makes it bigger!” Feral, enraged, breaks his baton in half. It’s times like this I really feel sorry for Feral, when he tries so hard but isn’t allowed to succeed because he’s not the hero. And on a side note, I can’t say I like the fact they recycled the plot point from The Giant Bacteria wherein Dr. Viper’s monsters are unkillable by the conventional means: i.e., the plantimals are unharmed by plant-killing chemicals just like the bacteria monsters being “immune” to antibiotics. And as we’ll soon see, they also recycle that episode’s Deus ex Machina method of discovering the monsters’ one weakness.

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